Do you have a loved one recently diagnosed with dementia? Are you caring for your loved one in your home? Did you know that one of the most challenging aspects of witnessing a loved one struggle with dementia may be the sadness and confusion your loved one experiences? In fact, often your loved one may exhibit his or her sadness and confusion through angry outbursts and belligerence.
Are you aware that dementia causes the deterioration of brain cells? This deterioration may be the scientific cause of any behavioral changes in your loved one, they are the symptoms of your loved one’s illness. There may be nothing you can do to change him or her, nor should you expect his or her behavior to change. So the best thing you can do may be to utilize the following techniques to comfort him or her and keep him or her safe within the disease process.
1. Simplicity is best. For a person experiencing dementia, confusing situations can often be overwhelming and lead to agitation. For example, lots of people gathered together who know your loved one, but he or she does not remember or multiple choices of outfits to wear or finally, asking where he or she wants to go for lunch. For a person suffering from dementia all of these situations, which may be difficult for your loved one to comprehend, can lead to further agitation. Try instead to invite a few people over to visit your loved one, give two choices of outfits to wear and suggest a place to eat lunch. By keeping everything calm, uneventful and simple you may be providing the best support you can offer.
2. Routines are the best. In addition to keeping things simple, routines can also feel safe to a person who is experiencing the symptoms of dementia. You and your loved one can begin each morning with a routine of waking up, eating breakfast, brushing teeth and taking a shower. Be sure to have regular meal times and a daily walk and then end your day with an evening routine. Again, these routines are ways to provide structure to your loved one. You can assist your loved one in remembering the routines by creating a written schedule that can hang on the wall or keep in a notebook. If your loved one needs any supportive devices, such as hearing aids or a walker, for any activities be sure to give him or her a gentle reminder. You want your loved one to keep his or her dignity as opposed to confronting him or her in a paternalistic or demeaning way.
3. Calmness is always best. As mentioned before, the disease process can be responsible for making your loved one argumentative. So try to avoid arguing and do your best to remain calm. Do not mirror the anger of your loved one with your anger. We highly recommend that if you begin to experience feelings of anger or irritation while caring for your loved one, the best thing you can do may be to step outside for a moment and catch your breath, or at least pause and count to five. You need to give yourself time to reset and remind yourself that the symptoms your loved one may be exhibiting are from his or her illness. It may simply be the symptom of a disease.
Finally, remember to be kind to yourself. Caring for a loved one with dementia is a full time job and an emotional experience. Do not expect everything to go perfectly. You should treat yourself with the same kindness that you would treat your loved one. The fact that you are present and caring for your loved one can be the greatest source of support and comfort you can provide.
At the end of the day, legal planning is not just for you. Instead, it is for the ones you love most. If we can answer any questions for you on putting this estate planning in place, please do not hesitate to let us know. For more information, please reach out to our office and schedule a time to meet.